May 2, 2025
Thanks to Alissa Simon, HMU Tutor, for today’s post.
While the Syntopicon includes happiness, it does not have a separate section dedicated solely to joy. I am curious about these emotions, how they might be similar or different. To me, joy seems more ephemeral, less permanent but more impactful whereas happiness is more of a state of long-term satisfaction.
According to Merriam-Webster, joy can be: the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires, or to experience great pleasure or delight. Merriam-Webster defines happiness as: a state of well-being and contentment; joy. It’s important to note that happiness is a state, but joy is not.
Regardless of definition or distinction, people seek joy. We respond well to people who express joy. We seek situations which cause joy in us. We feel good in the presence of joy. In fact, numerous studies show the positive effects that joy has upon our bodies and minds, such as lowering stress and boosting immunity. But why aim for the ephemeral?
Although we know that joy is good for us, it cannot be easily crafted or created. Therefore, joy is one of the goods, one of our extreme sources of wealth, though likely it has nothing to do with tangible goods. It is the subject of the Book of Joy, written by Douglas Abrams, about a weeklong meeting between good friends Archbishop Desmond Tutu and His Holiness the Dalai Lama. In 2015, the Archbishop traveled to Dharamsala, India to visit with the Dalai Lama. The Book of Joy recounts some of their conversations, their great friendship, their care and respect for each other’s traditions, and their joy, despite long and difficult journeys. A short video clip of their meeting will demonstrate how they tease each other, but also how this wonderful relationship of mutual respect brought each other great joy.
While this book is not the only salve for the contemporary moment, it highlights a positive way forward. Finding joy within our communities is essential. It demonstrates ways to honor and pause in each moment of joy. Even understanding joy itself may help.
Here are a couple of notes from the book that might interest us today. I am fascinated by the connection between a variety of emotions: such as anxiety, loneliness and compassion. These emotions either enhance or inhibit our ability to feel joy and, therefore, are worth studying also.
Douglas Abrams narrates:
“[A]s I watched the Dalai Lama’s face, my own mirror neuron system seemed to resonate with the mind-state that I was witnessing. Mirror neurons allow us to imitate others and experience their internal states, and therefore may play an important role in empathy. I started to experience a tingling in my forehead and then a sharpening of focus as various parts of my brain started to quiet and calm, as if the activity began to center on what spiritual adepts have called the third eye, or what neuroscientists call the middle prefrontal cortex.
“Daniel Siegel had explained to me that the neural integration created by this crucial area of the brain links many disparate areas and is the locus of everything from emotional regulation to morality. Meditation, he and other scientists have proposed, helps with these processes. He explained that the integrative fibers of the discerning middle prefrontal cortex seem to reach out and soothe the more reactive emotional structures of the brain. We inherited the reactivity of this part of our brain, and particularly the sensitive amygdala, from our skittish fight-or-flight ancestors. Yet so much of the inner journey means freeing ourselves from this evolutionary response so that we do not flip our lid or lose our higher reasoning when facing stressful situations.
“The real secret of freedom may simply be extending this brief space between stimulus and response. Meditation seems to elongate this pause and help expand our ability to choose our response. For example, can we expand the momentary pause between our spouse’s annoyed words and our angry or hurt reaction? Can we change the channel on the mental broadcasting system from self-righteous indignation – how dare she or he speak to me like that – to compassionate understanding – she or he must be very tired.” (179-80)
Douglas Abrams used an example of a time that he challenged Archbishop Tutu.
“As my verbal assault became more pointed and challenging, I saw his head draw back in reaction and perhaps some defensiveness. Most of us might have argued more adamantly or attacked back in such a disagreement, but it was as if I could see the Archbishop – in a split-second pause – collect his consciousness, reflect on his options, and choose his response, one that was thoughtful and engaged rather than reactive and rejecting. It was one of the most profound examples of what a prayerful and meditative life can give us – that pause, the freedom to respond instead of react.” (181)
The Dalai Lama explains isolation:
“I would think of myself as something special, and that kind of thinking would make me feel isolated. It is this sense of separateness that isolates us from other people. In fact, this kind of arrogant way of thinking creates a sense of loneliness, and then anxiety.” (204-5)
Douglas Abrams explores compassion:
“It is worth taking a moment to think about what compassion really means, since it is a term that is often misunderstood. Jinpa, with the help of colleagues, created the Compassion Cultivation Training at the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education at Stanford University School of Medicine. In his marvelous book A Fearless Heart: How the Courage to Be Compassionate Can Transform Our Lives, he explains: ‘Compassion is the sense of concern that arises when we are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to see that suffering relieved.’ He adds, ‘Compassion is what connects the feeling of empathy to acts of kindness, generosity, and other expressions of altruistic tendencies.’ The Biblical Hebrew word for compassion, rachamim, comes from the root word for womb, rechem, and the Dalai Lama often says that it is from our mother’s nurturing that we learn compassion. It is from being nurtured, and in turn nurturing our own children, that we discover the nature of compassion. Compassion is in many ways expanding this maternal instinct that was so pivotal to the survival of our species.” (252)
Photo credit: Shutterstock/ fran_kie
